LifeOfSherman

Behold, the Kaiser of Cringe

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Informed Consent by LifeOfSherman, literature

Climb In My Van by LifeOfSherman, literature

Humans In A Jar by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Humans In A Jar

To be sung to the tune of Heaven Is A Place On Earth by Belinda Carlisle For the psychos and forever scarred Introducing Humans In A Jar In this average world are you too bizarre? Then you need Humans In A Jar Introducing Humans In A Jar Trying not to be A misanthropist Or a nihilist Is hard in this shithole But there's hope for you yet Even if you killed your pets DNA from the homeless and the junkies Has made evolution rad and funky Mini human clones to follow your whims It's like real life Sims down to their eunuch quims Fetishists, cartoon villains, wannabe Tsars Y'all need humans in a jar Wanna spread world peace of chlymidia Have a

'Real' Communism by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

'Real' Communism

To be sung to the tune of Video Killed The Radio Star by The Buggles All you've heard about us from People's Radios Stereotypes from our oppressors long ago Those people over there don't represent us tho We promise! Stalin had brain damage and Castro was a fash Pol Pot's not our Scotsman - Lenin can kiss my ass We see Mao's famines and mass killings were just rash Be-ha-viour! We do like children Re-e-du-cate! Don't always kill them Please give real Communism a chance Please give real Communism a chance Cambodia, Russia, China and Laos How dare you use evidence to disallow Our i-de-o-lo-gy We haven't tried com-cap-archist economies Or lis

Cosmic Latte by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Cosmic Latte

In the beginning, there is a color. A beige-white color, everywhere. You look around and cannot see yourself, no appendages, no trace of life anywhere to be found except you, invisibly thinking. Alone. Omnipotent. Time passes, but nothing happens. Nothing moves or lives. Even you stop living after a while because there is no point - beige, that's all there is. For so much...time. How long has it been? You want to die before your life even begins. You want to hallucinate and believe that something else is happening, but you could never let yourself go mad. You're too important. The boredom creates a slow, dull pain, like being slowly diges

Informed Consent by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Informed Consent

"For whose sake, henceforth, all his vows be such, As what he loves may never like too much." - On My First Sonne She told me she was going out to get the groceries. So I took the herbs out of the pantry and into the operating table. She told me she wasn't gonna be back for a while. So I put my feet up, grabbed a book and a nice local Ana. She told me she was going to confession. So I soaked myself in sweaty water and sucked my organs out. She told me she was getting her nails did. So I fetched tweezers, dragged out all that measly mewling flesh. She told me she was doing the laundry So I ignored the red spots She told me she was in the

Disassociation by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Disassociation

The Russian roulette click-thunk of those teeth, British for sure, but good for a morsel of Human. In the sun, he can't look past his webbed Feet. And he's still cold, the ungrateful bastard. Staring down prey, apathetically. This lazy thing, curled up all day. Tail tucked between the toilet and around The basin to the mirror, looking for That throbbing...'I' I is...gone Gobbled Suffocated Hunted down Her bones were crushed and I could see her head trapped in the jaws, Gargling, blood oozing out with every slip-crunch To the tiled ashy floor- Doubtless from the last cremation. I is gone But I'm still here My skin is a coarse scaley junip

Peel Slowly And See: The Anthology by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Peel Slowly And See: The Anthology

For Once There's no pang right now, which is strange because It seems like every time I wake up these Days, it...doesn't hurt, but I feel, y'know... I feel bile plummet up and down my throat. I feel last night's tears purge vitality. I am scared to sleep, no bloody reason. But not today. Because I don't feel a Damn thing. Maybe it's the meds kicking in (Tell me: how long do you reckon they'll last?) Or maybe I'm just tired. Either way, it's worse. early dawn world right behind me sunday mourns 鬼佬 linguists on and on chat about nothing or all create the best social options for me discuss historians melt wax expectations set e

For Jacki by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

For Jacki

When my mother found your collar in my suitcase, I told her it was for fashion. She knows I'm a basket case So it didn't matter when I strapped myself to bed at night And moaned in the bathtub to give my cousins a fright. Yes, darling, I'm a rebel, I swear. This is all To please you, mistress, when I stop and call For help like the helpless kitty I am, That's what makes it fun, after all: that it's all a sham. It's what I was supposed to do, but never got round to: Mucking about, fucking clouts, stabbing nirvana, sharing flues. You were so large you could inhale me, and I could curr You round my tongue like your finger with a purr. We were

There Are No Charge Ports In The Woods by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

There Are No Charge Ports In The Woods

I'd like to run away from home Because I'm scared of growing holes in my skin Yes I know - it's never ever gonna happen That's why it's really not the sort of thing a crazy wouldn't sing About And I'm not a trypophobic Who can't tell real life from photoshop But lately I can't instruct my brain To shut up, sit down and stop Cerebral jitters for hours And prozac before bed I don't care about exams I just want to clear my head So I'll bring along my ipod Oh wait! No charge ports to be seen! Park my sleeping bag on Lantau beach Or street-sleep in Aberdeen I'm not 10 years old anymore I know what must be done And that everything will change If

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Informed Consent by LifeOfSherman, literature

Climb In My Van by LifeOfSherman, literature

Humans In A Jar by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Humans In A Jar

'Real' Communism by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

'Real' Communism

Cosmic Latte by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Cosmic Latte

Informed Consent by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Informed Consent

Disassociation by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Disassociation

Peel Slowly And See: The Anthology by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Peel Slowly And See: The Anthology

For Jacki by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

For Jacki

There Are No Charge Ports In The Woods by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

There Are No Charge Ports In The Woods

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Peel Slowly And See: The Anthology by LifeOfSherman, literature

Literature

Peel Slowly And See: The Anthology

This Swelling Heart by Parsat, literature

Literature

This Swelling Heart

What did I see that left me so impressed? What tenderness and peace did you display That left joy blooming deep within my chest? It keeps me wide awake, yet gives me rest, Uneases me, but altogether healing. To search that memory is quite the quest, 'tis one that in my mind I oft replay: What did I see that left me so impressed? Though I can fully reconstruct the day We met, I cannot fully scribe the feeling You roused in me, or how it then progressed To something that would not give up halfway, But left joy blooming deep within my chest. For surely I had put you to the test, That what was fair and flawed would be revealing. And much I

Another Octacula Approaches by ProjectDFC, journal

Another Octacula Approaches

Sep 28, 2017

:thumb560853915: :thumb560853915: :thumb560853915: Stamp made by the formidable and fierce HugQueen (https://www.deviantart.com/hugqueen) - go give love! Welcome To the Third, Annual Welcome to the third year of Octacula! In honour of October and all it cree-eights, Octacula shall reign throughout the entirety of the month. Whether it's the tenth month or the eighth (Oct as in eight baby). Octacula features eight forms divided into two groups. The first group consists of: :ninjabattle::matrixfight: Form-idable Foes :matrixfight::ninjabattle: Chant Royal: The Chainsaw Wielding Psychopath The Chant Royal is a murderous French form, invented by Christine de Pizan and C

A Monster Calls 2017 Winners! by prettyflour, journal

A Monster Calls 2017 Winners!

Oct 2, 2017

It gives me the chills....spine tingling terror to announce the winners of this years A Monster Calls Prose Contest. 1st place goes to... ~OneWithTheStars (https://www.deviantart.com/onewiththestars) OneWithTheStars (https://www.deviantart.com/onewiththestars) And we had a tie for 2nd place!! :iconsecret-ninja-super-m: SECRET-NINJA-SUPER-M (https://www.deviantart.com/secret-ninja-super-m) AND :icontobaeus: Tobaeus (https://www.deviantart.com/tobaeus) All the entries can be found here: https://prettyflour.deviantart.com/favourites/74697409/2017-A-Monster-Calls Thank you one and all for taking the creepy adventure with me. I hope we didn't scare you too bad.... :skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull: Fall is here. Leaves are turning. Apples and pumpkins are EVERYWHERE. Hall

CONTEST CLOSED - All Hallow's Tales 2017 by Memnalar, journal

CONTEST CLOSED - All Hallow's Tales 2017

Oct 1, 2017

This contest is generously sponsored by prize donors and: %CRLiterature (https://www.deviantart.com/crliterature) :iconcommunityrelations: :iconarthassoul: :icontheartlounge: :icontandemfeatures: :iconnurturing-narratives: :pumpkin::pumpkin::pumpkin: WINNERS POSTED HERE! Happy Halloween! :pumpkin::pumpkin::pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin: THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED TO ENTRIES! All the monsters have been caged, all the entries are in, and All Hallow's Tales 2017 has now entered the Official Judging Period. MANY THANKS to all who entered! We hope to announce winners on or about October 31. WHILE YOU WAIT: Take a look at the entries! POETRY Gallery PROSE Gallery THE FUN IS

MagicalJoey's Anthology Contest III (Extended) by MagicalJoey, journal

MagicalJoey's Anthology Contest III (Extended)

Sep 28, 2017

:new: Contest extended until the end of November. Why hello you lovely person checking my hair for lice...or maybe it's the skull fracture I got from the drama over the last few weeks you're looking for? Well, whatever it is, put down your lice comb or suture kit and listen up...because I have a treat for you. What type of treat you ask? Well, while I don't have candy, cake or oreos, I do have a contest. Contest? Did I say contest? Why yes I did! You've arrived at the wonderful home of what I like to term: Why, Jo, isn't this the contest you host annually in April/May to celebrate your birthday? Yes, it is...but because I'm a sucker for pun

12 Reasons You Are Nothing Like Your Hero Hercules by UntamedUnwanted, literature

Literature

12 Reasons You Are Nothing Like Your Hero Hercules

1. You were so torrentially toxic to me I had to slice my own veins to get you out. 2. There was more chaos in the way you loved me than there was in the winding weather storm that broke every window in the house we called home, you turned that home into a house. 3. You claimed momentary insanity, like your hero Hercules, the day you used your fists for the first time, the same insanity that plagued Hercules when he slew everyone he loved. I wonder if there was a storm where he lived that day too. 4. Harbinger made of hemlock and heartache, hurricane made of hurt and heartbreak, you were Hera’s lesson of harm and habit

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About LifeOfSherman

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Artist // Student // Literature

June 24
Hong Kong
Deviant for 8 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Hello! My name's Juliet and I'm an aspiring writer. I mainly enjoy short stories and poems (because of my short attention span) but will attempt pretty much any genre or style. Also, be sure to check out my journal entries for WIFLIs, where I review and discuss various books. Sadly, I don't have any artistic talent but I'm hoping my writing will make up for that.

I always try to return reviews, llamas, favs and other such amazing things and if you have any writing prompts or requests, feel free to ask. Enjoy!

Favourite Visual Artist

N/A

Favourite Movies

War Horse, Richard the Second from The Hollow Crown series, Kill Your Darlings and The Imitation Game

Favourite TV Shows

Sherlock, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Last Week Tonight, Fawlty Towers, That Mitchell and Webb Look and Pride And Prejudice

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Radiohead, Watsky, Coldplay, George Michael, Rhett and Link, Pulp, Blur and Florence + The Machine

Favourite Books

I'll Give You The Sun, Ghostwritten, Brave New World, 1984, The Kite Runner, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, pretty much all of the Sherlock Holmes stories, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series and The Bunker Diary

Favourite Writers

Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson, Simon Armitage, Allen Ginsburg, John Keats, and T.S. Eliot (they're all poets because I don't have preferences when it comes to novels)

Favourite Games

Tetris

Favourite Gaming Platform

N/A

Tools of the Trade

Microsoft Word... notebooks... a pen... my brain

Other Interests

Piano, theater, psychology, random googling, wasting my life on Youtube, history, public speaking and debating

Posts

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LifeOfSherman

Oct 12, 2017

GUESS WHAT'S BACK BACK AGAIN THE @magicaljoey ANTHOLOGY CONTEST IS BACK SO I SHALL SHILL:

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LifeOfSherman

Aug 15, 2017

Writing Contest Winners

0 min read

ARGH I'M SORRY SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY I did that thing where I hit burnout, got really sad and then didn't want to write for ages. I still feel like that now, and since school's starting and I'm basically dead...I'm gonna screw off for a while after this. I want to focus on my studies and the activities I've discovered that I can learn from and feel good doing (like guitar, discovering metal music and learning to draw cartoons). To be honest...I don't get that much joy out of writing anymore. It feels so much like a chore and I've noticed that I tend to think of ideas in terms of other mediums, like screeplays or animations. Maybe I ca

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LifeOfSherman

Jul 31, 2017

CONTEST RESULTS WILL BE OUT SOMETIME THIS WEEK AND THE OTHER CRITIQUES TOO I'M SORRY I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SELF-ORGANIZE *insert screams of apology here*